Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
