Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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