I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
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when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
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I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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