I'm jealous of your bromance
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
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