It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize