$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
we're making bets on your personal life
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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