Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize