Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
