I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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