Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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