you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
