are you still at the devil's house?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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