No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Of course I have a pirate flag
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize