Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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