Got a toothbrush?
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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