Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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