Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
