I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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