I'm gonna have a badass scar
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
All the doctor said was why
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
