you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
