But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
