HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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