THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
