im six kinds of drunk right now
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
