So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
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So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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