heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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