would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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