chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
