Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
