so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
