we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
