ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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