just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
