Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
