we have officially lost it.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
