if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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