Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
