What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
