only if we run a train.
done.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
