You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Blow job season was short but glorious.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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