Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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