I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
