Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
