the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
