My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
