Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
