Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
