Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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