I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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