covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
our cab driver is having phone sex.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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