is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
