She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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