yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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