Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
