Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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