just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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