Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
