the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
