weddingsv make me drug and hornr
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
