Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
