i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
